Do the ideas on Shy and Free really work?

I believe that part of everyone knows the truth and what would really help them - but that access to the truth can be blocked by fear. It is my hope that reading the information on Shy and Free will resonate with what you already know to be true. It is those with the courage to try out ideas in real life (instead of trying out the idea only in the mind and rejecting it without any objective feedback) who will make the greatest strides toward their goals.

Here are what some readers of Shy and Free have said about the content of this site:

I love your site.

Most self-help sites I have been seem to attempt to lure you to buy some product and I can’t help the cynical feeling questioning peoples desires to really help.

Shyness or in my case social-phobia can become a really awful burden, and I appreciate the sincerity and care that has gone into your site. I wish you all the best, and I will spread the word about how good your site is!

L. 11/05/2003

G. 10/17/2003

Tonight I somehow was lead to this site and it helped me really start to understand that it's okay to be the way that I am. I have spent years upon years beating myself up emotionally for being the "quiet girl" and for not being able to understand why I wasn't able to talk to people even though I greatly wanted to. This past year I have been really taking time to see myself for all the great and amazing things that I posses rather than just labeling myself shy and allowing that to rule my life. All the information I read I could really relate to and was encouraged by. It was beautifully written with a passion that I could really feel, thank you so much for putting up the lessons you have learned and cared to share, I deeply appreciated it.

K. 07/14/2003

"I discovered your site shy and free back in 99 and I was impressed by the way you put out information and resources, along with your great advice. It was a site i visited regularly, especially to engage in the board discussions with all the other shy people out there. it was a great help."

"I just wanted to let you know that I met someone off of the message boards...we became close friends and since last year we have become more than friends. both he and I went on the message boards often to complain about the lack of relationship in our lives...and now we are happier than we ever thought possible. it's as if we were meant to meet, I never before considered meeting anyone off the internet."

"Anyway, my point is if it wasn't for your website I would have never met him. he's changed my life tremendously for the better and I love him very much."

"Thanks again for the site!"

Take care, A. 11/13/2002

"Hello, I'm gonna keep this pretty short. You're site is just amazing! I used to be very shy and insecure, but after reading and learning from your website, everything changed. I've found happiness, creativity and many more wonderful things. I can't thank you enough, keep up the great job!"

Yours truly, A.  11/15/2002

I'm recently divorced and reaching out to "overcome" my shyness around friends and potential mates.

I came to your site at the right time. I've embraced my shyness instead of rejecting or trying to "fix" it. I've found this concept revolutionary in my journey.

I wanted to tell you thanks. Your words and principles have had a positive affect on my life.

Thanks again. T. 5/5/02

...and I've just experienced the "ah-hah"! The following will take me a long way:

"Maybe if we had allowed ourselves to experience charging elephants 100 times, and had lived to tell about it, our fear would be greatly reduced.

We would still feel fear and we would know what to do because of our experience.

Many shy people do not allow themselves to experience the fear..."

Thank you, thank you! A. 12/01/01

Dear Kevin,

I'm a depressed 18 year old nobody. I came across your site shyandfree.com tonight. I'm crying right now I don't want to sound like I'm kissing your ass but I'd just like to tell you that if tonight is any indication I think you could say that your site changed my life like no therapist or antidepressants could do before.

When I got to the process section and had to ask myself those questions you mentioned, I opened up notepad and a few hours later I had diagramed every problem in my life, some of which I knew about and others which came out of nowhere and therapy never brought out of me. I won't go into detail about them unless you really want me to.

I'm intensely jaded and callous and I was half paying attention by the time I got to your site expecting more self help bullshit that others might have come up with. and it could very well have been that way, until I started reading about your mind, body and spirit definitions. From that point on you managed to extinguish every second guess I could throw at myself. I'm "stuck" mostly in my brain, and I'm pretty quick to write off everything cause I get some arrogant intelligence issues starting to build up until I convince myself that what I'm reading doesn't apply to my case for whatever reasons. Then you said that the brain is the part of an individual that would demand proof that this web site is gonna work, you stopped me dead in my tracks, so to speak, cause I'm not used to being predictable. My other skepticism was your word "spirit" but lo and behold you managed to convince me that spirit was just a term for high levels of what I aspire to be.

Anyway, in the past I've found that the more I rave about something the quicker it goes away so I'm gonna stop. I really hope that I don't write this off as emotional bullshit tomorrow morning and go back to where I started, but to be honest I haven't cried genuinely in a long time so I think that's an indication of something important. I'll try to keep at it. If for nothing else, thanks for making me cry :)

-G 12/10/01

I would like to personally say thanks to the producer of shy and free website. I am a 21 year old student and always used to feel timid, shy, unhappy and different from other people. I use to look at the world with contempt. I have come across many a website explaining the 'what it feels like to be shy and how to come out of it' and 'how one should not feel that way' etc. All the time reading those articles seemed to reinforce my shyness every time. However, one day when looking for something different I came across a site which was entitled 'Shyandfree' - firstly I was intrigued by the title. I thought it was a mismatch! I thought how does being free and being shy be compatible. They are incompatible!! That made me go to the web site and read everything!!! (now there is no looking back :)

But as I read through the website. Each time I have become more interested and intrigued and never have looked back since. Your complete understanding of what it is that causes the limitation and deep understanding of how to overcome it is pure brilliance and amazing. Your way of way explaining and stressing particular points is also excellent. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart because I have learned life skills that were amazing and that majority of the population don't understand. These are 'failure is the natural way to succeed'; 'live in the moment';  'obsession is a sign telling you to let go'; 'you are loved for your flaws'; 'being perfect is equated with being being robotic and puts off people' and many more. But the most incredible one for me was 'You have the power to control your reality' (which means your experience does not create your reality but instead your thoughts create your reality). The most important lesson I have learned was how our thoughts actually create our experiences and amazingly that means if we maintain positive thoughts at all times we can have positive experience all the time!!! What an amazing lesson. I questioned this concept first and thought 'Hell if that’s the case everybody would be doing! and so must be false!' and 'how come no one I know knows about it or It was never taught in the books or the internet!!!!' BUT then I decided to give it a benefit of doubt and try it. I have set myself to think positive for 24 hours for seven days. AMAZINGLY it worked. NO SITUATION WAS DULL because I didn’t think it to be dull and BECAUSE I thought it to be exciting and positive it BECAME positive. From there I have learned about how to live in the moment. VERY POWERFUL STUFF. Only if everybody knew the world would be a better place.

Also, I have learned how one is more than their shyness and that in reality shyness is just one part of one's personality.

Since putting many of the principles I have learned from your website to practice I have done many things. The most memorable and lovely one being: giving a presentation to over 50 students at my university and getting first for the delivery. Truly incredible, in that presentation I used the breathing technique which gave wonders. Now I love presentations!! I am now much more employable since I possess interpersonal skills. Very thanks to YOU. I am now very keenly interested in many aspects and read Psychoanalysis books (Gestalt Therapy) an amazing book recommended from your website. 

Truly your website has sparked for me the deep understanding that the power to overcome ANY obstacle is within. And how true the phrase 'Be yourself' because that’s where the strength lies. Now faced with any obstacle I know the right place to look. Thanks to you when you said 'Your shyness is JUST one part of you - what about the other parts?'. OH How True.

... 
 

Thank you Once Again
H. June 13 2005

 ...I don't usually feel compelled to compliment people on their websites - but I think that what you are doing is really worthwhile. ....so many answers to so many questions I was too afraid to ask anyone.

Keep up the good work! :)

Regards, D. 11/16/00

Thank you for a very informative site. I hope you don't mind if I use your first line: "It is wise to understand something before transforming it". This phrase speaks volumes. The world needs to hear this. (Sorry if I seem a bit effusive but...I am). Thanks again for the info.

NYC 11/7/98