Capsule Book Reviews

Shyness : A Bold New Approach : Managing Your Shyness at Work, Making Small Talk, Navigating Social Situations, Parenting a Shy Child by Bernardo J. Carducci Ph.D. 2000 the director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast.

Carducci teaches you how to live a “Successfully Shy Life” based on his cutting edge research. Over 20 years of research has culminated in a book which can be quite shocking in its ability to accurately describe the thoughts, feelings, patterns, and behaviors of shy people. I was shocked for example, with the description of a shy person´s conversation style. Carducci shows that unlike good conversationalists, shy people tend to have just one subject that they talk about. A shy person can talk about this one subject with great passion, but this one topic can soon boor others who enjoy discussing many different things(ouch... this fits me perfectly).

Excellent advice is given on how to successfully deal with shyness.

“Shyness:  A Bold New Approach” is a modern book and like another modern book on shyness, “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron, does not see shyness as a disease or a character flaw.

Carducci answers the question “Is there a Cure for Shyness?” as follows:
“There is no pill or magic therapy to cure shyness because shyness is not a disease. Nor is shyness a character defect the should be repaired.  There is no specific cause of shyness that can be identified or eliminated.  Still you can overcome shyness at your own pace and don´t need to be clinically diagnosed and treated --- even if you think your case is more acute that anyone else´s.  Once you put shyness in perspective you will have more confidence in your ability to cope with it.
At worst, shyness is a source of personal discomfort stemming from the choices you make.  Throughout this book I will explain how you can make choices that will reduce your shyness and its corresponding discomfort, and how you can help your children, loved ones, friends, and coworkers if they are shy.”

The book consists of:

Part 1.  Welcome to the Successfully Shy Life
  Chapter 1. Penetrating the Mysteries of Shyness
  Chapter 2. Identifying Your Shyness
  Chapter 3. Shyness Myths and Misinformation
  Chapter 4. A New View of Shyness

Part 2.  Shyness of the Body, Mind, and Self
  Chapter 5. Shyness of the Body
  Chapter 6. Shyness of the Mind
  Chapter 7. Shyness of the Self

Part 3.  Shyness Through the Life Cycle
  Chapter 8. Are We Born Shy?
  Chapter 9. Shyness in Your Preschooler
  Chapter 10.  Shyness in Middle Childhood
  Chapter 11.  Shyness in Adolescence
  Chapter 12.  Shyness in Adulthood

Part 4.  Shyness in the World
  Chapter 13.  The Successfully Shy Lover
  Chapter 14.  The Successfully Shy Worker
  Chapter 15.  The Successfully Shy Global Citizen  

“Shyness:  A Bold New Approach” has a similar message as the Shy and Free site and is whole heartily recommended. My own experience with the book is that I use it as a reference as it is not the best book for reading cover to cover (perhaps because it is 400 pages long).

This cutting edge book may be ordered through Amazon.com for about $12 by clicking on the book cover above or by Clicking Here to Order Shyness: A Bold New Approach.

Carducci also recently published The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk : How to Talk to Anyone Anytime Anywhere About Anything

You may also want to visit the complete Shyness Book Store.

Thank you in advance for your book purchases which help support this site

Psychological Self-Help by Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd
“Clay got his first professional job at Indiana University Medical Center training psychiatrists, later to become the Chief Psychologist of the Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic. He went to Southern Illinois University as Director of the Counseling & Testing Center. There, in 1970, he started teaching a class in how to apply psychology to personal life. In 1973 he wrote the first draft of Psychological Self-Help. He became chair of the Psychology Department at Eastern Illinois University from 1974 (to 1980), where he developed a Paraprofessional BA degree program while continuing to improve his self-help course.    Teaching full time from 1980, he retired 1991 to finish Psychological Self-Help.”

This amazing book is even more amazing in that it is available online, for free! The chapters in the book are:

Introduction
CHAPTER 1 Understandings about Self-Help
How to Use this Book to Change Yourself
CHAPTER 2 Steps in Self-Help
Understanding the Problem and Solution
CHAPTER 3 Values and Morals: Guidelines for Living
CHAPTER 4 Behavior, Motivation, and Self-Control
CHAPTER 5 Stress, Anxiety, Fears, and Psychosomatic Disorders (Click to go to Worry and Shyness Topics)
CHAPTER 6 Depression and Self-Concept
CHAPTER 7 Anger and Aggression
CHAPTER 8 Dependency and Conformity
CHAPTER 9 Understanding Ourselves and Our Relationships
CHAPTER 10 Dating, Love, Marriage, and Sex
How to Apply Self-Help Methods
CHAPTER 11 Methods for Changing Behavior
CHAPTER 12 Methods of Changing Emotions
CHAPTER 13 Methods for Developing Skills
CHAPTER 14 Methods for Changing Our Thoughts, Attitudes, Self-concept, Motivation, Values, and Expectations
CHAPTER 15 Methods for Gaining Insight into Ourselves

You can search for “shyness” in the book and review all related references.  This book answers all the questions you may have about self-help psychology.

The Hidden Face of Shyness: Understanding & Overcoming Social Anxiety by Franklin Schneier M.D. and Lawrence Welkowitz PH. D. was published in 1996 and contains 271 pages.  Franklin Schneier M.D. is associate director of the Anxiety Disorders Clinic at New York State Psychiatric Institute and associate professor of clinical psychiatry at the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Columbia University.  Lawrence Welkowitz PH. D. is a research psychologist at the New York State Psychiatric Institute and Columbia University.

How a book defines shyness is often an indicator of what the book can help with --- after all the way someone defines shyness reflects how they view shyness.  The authors define shyness and social anxiety as follows:

“The terms “shyness” and “social anxiety” mean different things to different people; we will use them interchangeably in this book to refer to a variety of social and performance fears. The term “social phobia,” however, is more strictly defined. In social phobia, fear of embarrassment or humiliation is excessive and persistent, and it causes a sufferer to feel great distress or to avoid social or public situations. The fears in social phobia may be limited to one important situation, such as running meetings at work, or may even interfere with everyday activities, such as going to the market or making a phone call.”

The book explains that excessive fears of embarrassment come from a “universal concern about what others will think of us --- taken to the extreme.”

Also universal is stage fright.  “While nearly all performers experience a gradual increase in apprehension before a performance, more successful ones reach their peak anxiety an hour before the performance, rather than during it.”  The fact that anxiety is universal is an important fact for people to realize because it shows that their feelings are normal. Often anxiety and apprehension stop us from doing what we want because we think that we should not feel that way --- but everyone feels anxiety and the successful people feel it and take action anyway.

The chapters in the book are:

I. Introduction
1. What is Social Phobia?
2. The Most Human Fear
II.  The Faces of Social Anxiety
3. Fear of Public Speaking
4. People Anxious with People
5. Fear of Eating and Drinking in Public
6. Fears of Blushing and Sweating
7. Dating Anxiety
III. Social Anxiety´s Causes: Body, Mind, and Society
8. What Good is Social Anxiety?
9. Biological Underpinnings
10.  Psychology of the Shy
11.  The Cultural Connection
IV.  Some Other Faces of Fear
12.  Stage Fright, Stars, and Real People
13.  Sexual Anxiety and Shyness
V. An Owner´s Manual for Social Anxiety
14.  Taking Measure of Social Anxiety
15.  Becoming Your Own Therapist
16.  Self-Help Vignettes
17.  Parenting the Shy Child
VI.  Treatment for Social Phobia
18.  Psychological Treatments
19.  Medication Treatments
20.  The Future
Appendix:  Where to Find Help

The Hidden Faces of Shyness has something for everyone and uses excellent examples from both famous people and real clients. If you can choose only one shyness self-help book, this is the one to have because it is comprehensive, easy-to-read and offers many proven ways of helping yourself.

This exceptional book may be ordered through Amazon.com for about $9 by clicking on the book cover above or by Clicking Here to Order The Hidden Face of Shyness.

You may also want to visit the complete Shyness Book Store.

Thank you in advance for your book purchases which help support this site.

from the front flap:

“Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams?
Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water?
Are you “too shy” or “too sensitive” according to others?
Do you perform poorly when being observed even though your´re usually competent and conscientious?
Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you?

If your answer to these questions is yes, you are probably a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

But take heart, you´re in good company.  One out of five people is born with a heightened sensitivity, and many of history´s great artists and thinkers were HSPs.  Here is the first book which helps you identify this trait in yourself and shows you how to make the most of it.”

The chapters in the book are:

1. The Facts About Being Highly Sensitive: A (wrong) Sense of Being Flawed
2. Digging Deeper:  Understanding Your Trait for All That It Is
3. General Health and Lifestyle of HSPs:  Loving and Learning From You Infant/Body/Self
4. Reframing Your Childhood and Adolescence:  Learning to Parent Yourself
5. Social Releationships: The Slide Into “Shy”
6. Thriving at Work:  Follow Your Bliss and Let Your Light Shine Through
7. Close Relationships: The Challenge of Sensitive Love
8. Healing the Deeper Wounds: A Different Process for HSPs
9. Medics, Medications, and HSPs: “Shall I Listen to Prozac or Talk Temperament With My Doctor?”
10. Soul and Spirit: Where True Treasure Lies

Also included in the appendix are:
Tips for Health-Care Professionals Working with HSPs
Tips for Teachers Working with HSPs
Tips for Employers of HSPs

You will treasure this book as it is written with compassion and truth using clinical research by someone who shares the Highly Sensitive trait. This is the most quoted book on the Shy and Free site, is very readable, and may be ordered through Amazon.com for about $12 by clicking on the book cover above or by Clicking Here to Order The Highly Sensitive Person.

You may also want to visit the complete Shyness Book Store.

Thank you in advance for your book purchases which help support this site.

 “Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia: A Step-by-Step Guide” by Ronald M. Rapee. Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia was published in 1998 and contains 120 pages.  Ronald Rapee is a Ph.D. from the University of New South Wales, Sydney, Australia and is currently an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology, Macquarie University in Sydney.

Immediately, Ronald Rapee demonstrates his credibility through a precise definition of shyness:

“being shy means being nervous or worried about what other people are thinking of you.”

The book follows with effective strategies for handling being worried about what other people are thinking.

The book uses case studies, step-by-step instruction, and forms to record your progress and help keep you motivated.

The chapters in the book are:

• Introduction
• Lesson 1 Motivation and Self Control
• Lesson 2 Understanding Shyness and Social Phobia
• Lesson 3 Thinking Realistically ---I
• Lesson 4 Thinking Realistically ---II
• Lesson 5 Training Your Attention
• Lesson 6 Reality Testing
• Lesson 7 Getting Feedback and Improving Performance
• Lesson 8 Taking Stock
• Lesson 9 Special Topics
• Conclusion and a Word about Drugs and Alcohol

This self-help guide effectively uses four case studies to demonstrate the strategies and techniques recommended by the author and lives up to its promise as a Step-by-Step Guide for Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia.

This highly recommended book may be ordered through Amazon.com for about $15 by clicking on the book cover above or by Clicking Here to Order Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia.

You may also want to visit the complete Shyness Book Store.

Thank you in advance for your book purchases which help support this site.